Grace's Lucky New Year's Soup

In the American South, they have a tradition of eating black-eyed peas and greens on New Year's Day to invite luck (black-eyed peas) and money (greens) in the new year. Who decided black-eyed peas were lucky, I have no idea, but they can be extremely tasty and very good for you, so let's eat up, shall we? It's not too late to get the New Year off to a delicious, and maybe even lucky, start!

Grace's Black-Eyed Peas and Greens (Soup)

3 small leeks (white/light green parts diced)
1 small yellow onion, diced
3 large cloves of garlic, minced fine
1 Tbs. poultry seasoning
2 heaping tsp. good chili powder
2-3 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
1 head savoy cabbage (frilly cabbage), cut into 2-inch pieces
4-5 roasted green chiles, diced (Ortega brand canned whole chiles are great)
2 large red bell peppers, cored and chopped
1 cup dried black-eyed peas
1 cup dry farfelle or rotelle pasta (corn pasta for gluten-free)
6 cups veggie broth
2 cups water
Parmesan cheese curls for garnish (optional)

Lightly saute leeks, onions and garlic in olive oil. Add poultry seasoning and chili powder. Mix it all about until leeks and onions are fully coated in spices. Add veggie broth, water, cabbage, green chiles, red peppers and black-eyed peas. Bring to boil. Cover and reduce heat, simmer for 40-45 minutes. Add pasta and let simmer for another 5-10 minutes, until peas and pasta are at desired consistency. Serve immediately, garnish with Parmesan cheese if desired and couple with piping hot cornbread. Happy New Year!

Our New Year's Day dinner and my first photo of 2011!

Photo of the Week- World's Tiniest Nativity

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One of my favorite ornaments, a teeny tiny nativity scene carved and painted inside a gourd, from Peru. Oakland, December 2010

Namaste and happy holidays, no matter what your faith tradition may be!

The Femininity Experiment

Since I value honesty and openness, especially in the pro blog and yoga worlds where we are under a constant barrage of pressure to be exceptional, I have a confession to make: Often, I don't feel comfortable in my biologically female body and recently I've been feeling less and less connected to the feminine divine and even more resentful of this somewhat broken vessel than usual. To not be totally accepting of myself in all my fertility goddess glory makes me feel like a fraud. What am I doing with this blog? Wasn't my original goal to try to inspire other women to accept their curves and fight the sinewy yoga body ideal? Yoga and acceptance for all, right?

Somewhere I lost my way.

Every day over the past few months, I've looked in the mirror hating what I see, not seeing my soft fullness, cellulite and scars for what they've brought me through, but only sending bile back at myself for not being a feather-weight yoga guru. Let me tell you, self-hate is no way to inspire yourself to go to the gym or have a daily yoga practice. No. If you're anything like me, you'll just carbo-load your emotions, go back to bed and completely neglect all the little rituals that make you feel better. I didn't even realize my self-image had gotten so bad, since most American women share this angst to some degree, until I befriended two women who don't buy in to that bullshit. They actual dig their bodies. I can honestly say that they might be the first American women I've ever met who don't in some way hate their corporeal forms. They are not super models. They are just normal women who don't waste time with self-hate.

Meeting them put a rather harsh mirror up to my face.

But not the way you (I) might expect. For the first time it dawned on me how much of my life is spent on comparing myself to other women and constantly tearing myself down. It's a thought-pattern that's hard to avoid. Women in our culture are trained from a young age to hate each other and view each other as competition, in dating, fitness, employment and even among female family members. It's passed from mother to daughter, both in warnings of other women and cruel, damaging behavior to each other. But when every woman you meet is playing that same game, it becomes a matter of course, of survival. The rules of The Game require harsh self-judgment to ensure you'll be better than all other women in this twisted beauty pageant of life.

But what happens when you meet a lady who doesn't play The Game?

At the first, my own nastiness and pettiness was starkly highlighted for me, as was my lack of self-confidence. Without cause to turn the magnifying glass on them, I turned the magnifying glass on myself, trying to pick out exactly how I had become a nasty, petty, self-loathing creature, which, naturally, only leads to more self-loathing. Doesn't that sound like a party? When you're the only one in the room wasting all of that time and energy on a ridiculous game of Mean Girls, the utter futility of it all becomes really clear with the resounding question:

Why the fuck would anyone do this to herself or others?

Is it fun? Does it help anyone? Does it make the world a kinder place? Does it line up with yoga or Buddhism, the soul of my soul? I think you know the answer. So, today I'm starting over.

I vow to be kind to myself.
I vow to stand up for myself.
I vow to extend grace to myself and others in order to cause no harm.
I vow to stop consuming media that tells women we are worthless.
I vow to be vocal against the casual misogyny that fuels The Game.
I vow to never engage in The Game ever again.
I vow to spend time on myself and stop being a people-pleaser.
I vow to not be afraid of being hyper-aware of my body through Asana.
I vow to honor the Feminine Divine daily.
I vow to start giving myself twice-monthly pedicures, again.

No matter your gender identity, will you join me in these vows?
(Okay, maybe not the pedicures, but [insert your own ritual that makes you feel radiant here].)

-Namaste-

Happy Holidays! (part 1)

Sorry for the major gap again. I went to England, then the election happened, then had Thanksgiving, and the blog just sort of got lost in all of that. Interesting things are afoot, though. Big adjustments and announcements ahead! For now, I'm going to fill out the Christmas survey I've seen floating around the blog world over the past few days, because even though I'm a Buddhist, I still love the wonder and beauty of all the winter holidays, Christmas in particular. It reminds me of the very best of the rare happy family memories from my childhood. Things were very difficult every year around that time, but my parents still managed to make the home sparkle, fill our stockings with the best candies, bake the most amazing cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning and instill in us the wonder of the Christ story, His acts of love despite poverty and the possibility of peace on Earth through humanity's potential for good.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper. I'm kind of a master gift wrapper as I channel my inner Martha Stewart.

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial on account of California apartment living. Growing up in the country, though, my family would traipse out in the snow to cut down the yule tree every year.

3. When do you put up the tree? The day after Thanksgiving, another one of my family's traditions!

4. When do you take the tree down? Embarrassingly late. I like to keep it up as long as possible.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yes. The organic, non-alcoholic kind.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? My very first phone for my bedroom (a rite of passage!) at age 10. It was clear, to show all the rainbow-colored inner workings. It also lit up when it rang.

7. Hardest person to buy for? My brother-in-law. He's a polite, soft-spoken guy who never wants to request anything. Tell us what you want/need, silly!

8. Easiest person to buy for? My mom or my four-year-old nephew.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, the world's tiniest nativity scene carved from wood and arranged inside a gourd as an ornament, from Peru. I'll post a picture at some point this season.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Handmade cards, always. Again with the inner Martha Stewart.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Regarding a certain relative I am convinced hates me: So everyone who knows me knows that I am vehemently anti-fur and I was also going through militant vegan-goth phase at the time, around age 18. This relative got me a multi-neon-colored scarf, most likely designed for a child, complete with dyed rabbit fur poof balls. No joke.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Elf

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I am a weekend before kinda gal. I get that from my dad.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not that I recall

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My mom's special Christmas cinnamon rolls.

16. Lights on the tree (colored or clear)? White lights

17. Favorite Christmas song? Blue Christmas

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? I live in the Bay Area! I do not require a white Christmas, LOL. We are very close to my husband's family here, so we always have a laid back Christmas Eve at my MIL's house and Christmas day at home, just the two of us.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Nope.

20. Angel, star or ribbon on top of tree? A beautiful punched copper star with lights

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas Eve with Ben's family.

22. Favorite children's Christmas song? Uh, are there child-specific Christmas songs?

23. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? People rushing around consuming and being jerks to each other instead of spreading holiday love and grace to each other. That's the best gift of all, don't you know?

24. Favorite ornament theme or color? Rustic/country. Mostly wooden and copper ornaments with glass embellishments to really bring out the sparkle.

25. Turkey or ham on Christmas day? Nothing needs to die for my holiday festivities. :)

26. What do you want for Christmas this year? I want to go to Monterey Bay Aquarium with my family, little nephew included. Also, new yoga pants. Always new yoga pants.

27. Does anyone in your family dress up as Santa? We're thinking about dressing my brother-in-law up like Santa to tickle my nephew.

28. Age you discovered who Santa was? We didn't do Santa in my family. I think my dad really wanted us to appreciate how hard he and mom worked to provide for us.

29. Eggnog, hot chocolate, or apple cider? I have to choose?!

30. Traditional colors (red and green) or other colors? Copper, green and burgundy. We like to keep it Old World understated.

31. Do you have any Christmas decorations on your roof? Apartment living precludes it. :(

32. How does Santa get into your house? Chimney or magic key? He apparently shrinks very small to squeeze through the radiator.

33. Do you prefer gifts or gift cards? I really like experiences, not stuff.

34. Favorite Christmas Cartoon? How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Now it's your turn! How do you like to celebrate?

Photo of the Week- Fried Bug Vendor in Bangkok

Sorry for the lack of posts! It's been very exciting over here. My husband landed an amazing new job that will afford us location independence once he transitions out of his current job. We're also going to the UK in about two weeks to visit his new employers/colleagues and to have our belated honeymoon. Life is pretty sweet. I can't wait to take this photo outfit on the road again!

Today's photo of the week is of a peculiar street vendor in Bangkok, Thailand. If you look closely, you can see that his wares are (presumably delicious) fried and spiced insects of many varieties. I didn't try any at the time, because my stomach was already unsettled, but next time I think I will nom on some crickets.

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Insect vendor in Bangkok, Thailand, June 2010

Saying Good Riddance to September and HUZZAH! to October

To be perfectly honest, the last few months in my world have been arduous, a marathon of one challenge after an other. I tried to withstand them with the grace my name suggests, but I failed quite a bit. I even found myself in the childish thought-circle of "why me?" and "what have I done to deserve this?" It is only natural, only human, for us to seek order and reason during Samsara (cycle of earthly suffering), as if understanding the designs of our suffering would lessen the pain (hint: it doesn't.). The two most serious crises recently were health-related, reminding me the importance of caring for my body in times of bounty so the reserves can carry my mind through in times of famine.

At the very beginning of July, I tore a major muscle in my lower back. I was hoping it was only a bad strain and pushed myself to do my regular yoga practice, which had me in tears on the floor. By pushing to do my yoga instead of listening my body and resting, I further inflamed the injury and was functionally immobilized, in agony, for two months. All I could do was wait for the muscle to repair itself and do the most basic stretches when I could manage them. The muscle healed very well, but I lost a lot of strength and I am now slowly building up to 100%. I went two months without Asana (yoga postures), the longest I've ever been without it in the 13 years I've practiced. Suffice to say, it was extremely depressing and my joints still ache from the long Asana drought.

Just as I was regaining the use of my back, my husband was beset by a flare-up of the disease he suffers from, but rears its nasty head rarely, every 1.5 years or so. He suffers from cluster headaches, the grand poobah of all migraines. They are extremely rare and very little is understood about them, besides the expert belief that it may very well be, without exaggeration, the most painful condition known to medical science. When Ben gets them, he is knocked out of life for 4-6 weeks. No work, no friends, no loud noises, no lights, no conversation. Imagine living in dark, boring agony with nothing to distract from mind-breaking pain for a month at a time. I can only speak from my perspective, but as a care-giving wife during "headache season," it's frightening, lonely and sleepless. A deep helplessness and rage grows in me that does not happen when it's just me suffering. Cluster headaches are so strange and mysterious, causing so much terror with no explanation, and there is nothing I can do to make the demon go away. I can only hold his hand, hold down the fort and wait. As is always the case though, just as we both begin to fear that maybe this time the headache won't go away, it does. Tuesday, just as quickly as it came, the headache is gone and my husband is back. Tuesday was also his birthday, so we have many things to celebrate in the following weeks.

All is well and all will be well. I am full to overflowing with gratitude for an end to this particular season of suffering and gratitude also for the lessons taught by pain, like grace, endurance, selflessness and appreciation for victories great and small. In that joy, I feel comfortable setting real goals for October, goals mostly involving a return to joyful normalcy.

For October:

1. Try ecstatic dance and if I like it, make it a weekly habit
2. Work back up to an hour a day of Asana
3. Re-establish a weekly date night with my husband
4. Work back up to going to the gym 4 days a week
5. Invest time in my friendships
6. Become a morning person

Yes, those are a lot of goals, but I'm hungry for health, success and love.

What are your goals for October?

Photo of the Week- Vietnamese Mother

It's been far too warm where I live to write a real post yet this week (though I do have one brewing), so I give you the photo of the week.

(click photo to enlarge)

This is picture shows an impoverished Vietnamese mother speaking about her daughter's fight against Leukemia and her own struggle with untreated Hepatitis. After meeting her, 100 Friends decided to assist her in paying for cancer treatment for her daughter and Hepatitis treatment for herself, neither of which she could have afforded on her own. I am so proud to be a part of this organization. If you feel moved to donate to our life-saving efforts in Southeast Asia, please click here.

Grace's Kickass Cauliflower Soup, a redux

Since many people in my life, myself included, are currently down for the count with colds, I feel like it's a good time to re-post my favorite medicinal food recipe. The change of seasons is hard on the body. The stress of dealing with weather changes, less sunshine and upcoming holiday obligations can weaken the immune system and leave us open to viral and bacterial onslaught. Give your body the upper hand by getting plenty of sleep, drinking enough water and tea (easy to forget when you're not sweating as much), utilizing a sun lamp to regulate your circadian rhythms and ward off Seasonal Affective Disorder, doing yoga and getting cardio daily, and, most importantly, feeding the body tasty, healthy food with medicinal benefits.


GRACE'S KICKASS CAULIFLOWER SOUP!

It is vegan, gluten-free and full of immune-boosting vitamins and cardio-pumping spices to kick the pants off whatever ails you. It takes about 45 minutes including prep time.

3 or 4 Tbls olive oil
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
2 inches of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 pound cauliflower florets
2-3 medium potatoes, peeled and diced
1 tsp cumin or garam marsala
2 tsp coriander
1 tsp turmeric
2 pinches of cayenne
5 cups veggie broth

Saute onions, garlic, ginger and olive oil in the bottom of a big soup pot until lightly browned. Add the spices and let them bubble together for a minute or two. Add broth, cauliflower and potatoes. Bring to a boil. Cover and reduce to medium-low heat until the potatoes are tender (about 12 minutes). You can either eat it right away or let it sit for a while. It gets tastier and thicker the longer the spices are allowed to sink in.